Dating can feel like another job. We are very busy working and trying to balancing wants with shoulds. Some people have been in the dating world for over twenty years and others are just getting back out on the circuit after a divorce or after ending a long term relationship. Since I have been dating a decent amount of time, and I have been a therapist for almost a decade, I want to provide some dating tips.
• Friendship is #1!- Look for a friend! For those times that you are not feeling the love or maybe even the like for the moment, at least be looking across the table at a good friend on the first date and for your future.
• Be Yourself!- You must show up to the date as who you really are. You deserve to be liked and appreciated for who you are and therefore be you! You can put your best self forward but do not behave or act in a way that you feel your date wants. If you are not genuine the relationship won’t be real either.
• Have Fun! A date is supposed to be fun and exciting, not something to just check off your to do list.
• Do Something You Like on the Date! – Many people go for coffee on a first meeting and they don’t even like coffee shops or coffee for that matter. So if you love mini-golfing go mini-golfing.
• Don’t Worry About Who is Paying! – Pick a place that you can afford or split. Many guys out there are tired of paying for many expensive first dates that never turn into second dates. If you are a female, be prepared to share the costs for some of the date and be pleasantly surprised and appreciative when they say, “No I got this.” Many guys tell me they do appreciate a person willing to buy a round of drinks.
• Try a Date Outside of your Type! – Time and time again I hear that the final designated “keepers” are not people’s original type. If you have had the same type for ten plus years and you have not had success give someone a chance that you might have been tempted to overlook.
• Read a Book or Two on Dating! – One of my favorites is Mars and Venus on a Date! Or Act Like a Man, But Think Like a Lady. By the comedian Steve Harvey. At minimum you will have a chuckle or two!
• Hang Out with Couples Getting it Right! If you are surrounding yourself by people who are getting it right it should rub off on you.
• Look for a Real Mate Versus the Fantasy! – Both men and woman need to get a grip! People need to love and be loved with our morning breath and all. Wise people know that you will not always be hot for your man/woman or vice versa.
• Love yourself! If you love yourself you will draw a person to you that loves you and respects you too!
