Daring Greatly – Brene’ Brown

I have been reading Daring Greatly by Brene’ Brown.  I love this book!  I keep reading parts over and over.   If you want to learn how to live fully, or if you live fully and then don’t, this book is for you.  Read Daring Greatly,  If you struggle with needing to be perfect and feel shame when you fall short; his book can also help free you from fear and self doubt.

Brown speaks of wholehearted living.  I know it when I am living it, and I know when I am not living it.  She describes 10 guideposts for Wholehearted living.

  1. Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think
  2. Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism
  3. Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness
  4. Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity or Fear of the Dark
  5. Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for Certainty
  6. Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison
  7. Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self Worth
  8. Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle
  9. Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and “Supposed to”
  10. Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and of “Always in Control”

I struggle with some of the guideposts.  I sometimes worry about what people think.  I want to be liked and respected.  What I am learning is that not every person is the right person for me.  If I could tell one thing to my twenty something self it would be, “You can be nice, but you don’t need to be too nice.” As I have gotten to know myself and the world more, I realize I  can be respectful to people, but I will not be fond of everyone and there are people that are not fans of Meg’n Deaner either; and that is ok.

In the aspect of numbing, I see the connection Brown makes that when you try and numb, or dull difficult feelings, you are also stunting your joy, love, and other positive emotions.  You can’t numb one side without numbing the other side.  It reminds me of The States of Mind from DBT Therapy.  We need all emotions to help us evolve and navigate through life, but in living life, it is good to combine your emotions with reasoning.

One of my struggles right now is Cultivating Play and Rest.  I regularly battle with myself in keeping a balance of Work, Rest and Play.  I sometimes joke with people that I am a workaholic, and I know on my deathbed, I will regret not having more free time, travel, or relaxation in my life.

The area of my life where I have been trying to build Intuition and Trust is with financial prosperity.  I used to unconsciously avoid learning and discovering how to be good with money.  I have prided myself on being good at what I do for a living, and how I develop my relationships, but there was a large lack of self discovery and strength building in financial investments.  Another lesson I would tell my younger self is it is wise to develop the skill of financial planning and investing.

If you do not have time to read Daring Greatly, you can listen to or see Brene’ Brown on her Ted Talks. I love that living fully is possible, with dedication and practice.  The people that live fully intentionally do the work and take risks.  Even if they fall flat on their goals, they always get back up and start again. Fail Forward!

If you want to work on living more fully, being more self confident or living a fulfilled life, give Mantis a call.