Lately, I have noticed on my coaching calls, clients are struggling with thoughts or belief systems that get in the way of their progress or success toward the level of self-actualization that could bring them joy or contentment. The beliefs range from, “I need to prioritize productivity over getting a good night of sleep” to “I am chubby; therefore. I am not good enough to find success in life.” One of the saddest most self crushing calls recently involved a person that was in the midst of an undiagnosed health crisis.
This person believed that she would never feel better. Deeply empathizing with this client’s negative thinking, I reminded her of all of the years she felt good physically and that most likely she was in the midst of a temporary crisis. Sometimes it is extremely difficult to become aware of patterns in our mind. Today, I invite you to recognize or re-acknowledge one or two of your own self limiting beliefs.
What are some of the consructs you have built into your thinking that allow you to stay stuck in the mud of impossibility or mediocrity?
Do you believe that you are not good enough at your career or in your personal relationships? An example might be: “I need to cook for my husband in order to be a good wife.” Do you worry that if you ask people for help, you will be perceived as weak? Do you think that if you put yourself first that you are selfish? Do you feel guilty when you take a day off to do nothing, and later pick on yourself for wasting the day?
People can easily point out each others’ patterns of behavior or speech. I almost always say: “Do you understand what I am saying?” It is common therapist talk, and I repeat this pattern daily. One of my non-therapist non-coach friends teases me about this communication pattern. People at work have noticed that I rarely take breaks and that I get hyper-focused. I have to consistently fight this pattern of behavior in order to practice what I preach which is self care. One of my mantras is “Taking care of myself is not a loss for others.”
Which unhelpful one of your belief systems can you take a closer look at today? After you sort out the self limiting belief, my wish for you is to neutralize or modify this belief system so that you can live a fuller and richer life. It will take you weeks or maybe months to alter a very ingrained belief, but don’t give up because it is worth so much to learn to remove any pattern of speech, behavior, or beliefs that no longer serve you. You are worth the work!
I leave you with this simple poem to reflect upon this message:
My thoughts are very potent things,
They hem me in or give me wings.
My thoughts create, enslave or free,
enrich or impoverish me.
My own thoughts make me glad or sad,
They chose, decide, for good or bad.
Whatever they be, is true for me.
My thoughts are my reality.