The last two blogs have touched  on the topic of being yourself and of living your values.   I would like to talk about Wise Mind from DBT as a way to help you get in touch with your truth and your values.  Wise Mind occurs when you are doing something and you just “know” it is right, and your gut, your heart, and your mind are in sync.

Let’s use the example of deciding to accept a job offer at a company.   When deciding about a career change, you want to take into consideration what the company’s culture feels like. Will you be excited to do and excel at performing the position? Does it feel  like the right job at the right time? Will you feel confident that you are going to be able to feel good walking into the doors of this company? Will the job bring joy and fullfillment most days?

You also want to look at the facts of the company and the position and think about it rationally.  What is the mission statement of the organization?  What would my role entail?  What is the commute like?  Do I have the necessary skills?  What are the benefits? Think of every “fact” that could influence your decision.  Don’t forget to weigh the pros and cons.  “The commute may be shorter, but my values don’t fit well with the mission and the culture.” Use your wise mind to make better decisions by following the steps below.

  1. Look at all the facts of the situation at hand.
  2. Notice all of your thoughts and feelings.
  3. Don’t Judge your thoughts and feelings just name them.
  4. Combine your thoughts and feelings together.
  5. Weigh the pros and cons of what to do and how to act on this potential change.
  6. Combine your thoughts and feelings together.
  7. It helps to talk your thoughts and feelings out with a trusted advisor.
  8. Then make your decision out of the synthesis of combining the facts, emotions and the pros and cons.


I know it is challenging to find a job, a neighborhood to live in, a place of worship, a geographical location, or a partner that will be a perfect fit for you.  There is no perfect fit. But, I hope, using Wise Mind will benefit you in a future decision and that it will guide you towards living in alignment with who you are meant to be.


*Wise Mind is a concept of Dialectical Behaivoral Therapy