It’s the most unhappy people who most fear change. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966V
Few can accept happiness if it means change. We want the life we have now, only happier. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
Those who expect moments of change to be comfortable and free of conflict have not learned their history. ~Joan Wallach Scott
Adding my thoughts to the thoughts of those above, I have been pondering my own view of change. I know all the sayings about change. “Change is constant.” “The only constant is change.” In the translation the Chinese symbol for Change encompasses both “crisis” and “opportunity”.
My entire career has been about changing lives. People come to me in times of crisis looking for healing, new paths, new directions, new beliefs and CHANGE. There are people in the world that love change and thrive on it. I thrive on teaching others to embrace change. I model change in my professional role. With clients I constantly pose the miracle question, “If you woke up tomorrow and your life was exactly the way you wanted it to be, what would be different?” When people share what would be different in their home, work, or relationships, my very next question is “What will be your first steps you take to achieve this new life?”
I don’t know about you, but I sometimes see change as the enemy. I revel in the times where my life is predictable, comfortable, conflict and pain free. These days my life is full of intentional change. I am consistently and sometimes reluctantly making changes at work and at home. My desire is to view change as growth, opportunity, and a teacher. But who am I kidding? Change comes with pain. Sometimes discomfort forces us to change. Change can come with goodbyes, sadness, anxiety, grief, and loss. And, at times, our lives get de-railed by change.
Some changes are for the worse, not better, at least temporarily. People come to Mantis when their lives have gotten at a minimum stuck and sometimes worse, very painful. Not one person has knocked on our door in order to ask for his or her life to stay the same. We never hear, “Oh my life is perfect, help me sustain it!”
One of the biggest challenges in my personal life has been to embrace change. My family would be the first to tell you, I was not an expert at my own transitions and changes. I can give you theories as to why change was my enemy. My actual birth was life or death: hence my cerebral palsy. Maybe, just maybe, my life lesson is learning to help myself and everyone view and experience change as valuable and worthwhile, even when it involves goodbyes, loss and pain. Seeing a new reality after change is embracing a new way of being in the world: the definition of growth. Today is the first day of Spring. What more evidence do we need that change can be very beautiful and welcome after all!
