This last week was a rough one for me.  I am right in the middle of summer, and life is pretty good.  Yet I have been feeling off.  The saying HALT has continued to surface for me, as I reflect on my current mood.  Am I hungry?  Nope. Am I angry?  Not really.  Maybe a little frustrated.  Am I lonely?  Bingo!  Am I struggling with going in and out of loneliness?  Yes!!!!!

Even though I know all of us go in and out of feeling lonely, I wish I was the exception to this.  I love my family and my friends.  I was feeling lonely even while I attended a goodbye party for a friend Friday, and also when I went to a matinee yesterday with another friend.  I follow the advice I share with others.  That is loneliness is being human.  I have these fantasies that if I were married and had children, I would not be lonely.  But I know that that though is bull.  As I work with mothers, fathers, grandmothers and spouses, many say “I am surrounded by people, but I feel so alone.”

Loneliness is inevitable from time to time.  Feeling lonely is one of the most challenging feelings that I experience.  As I write this blog, I am hoping to have this feeling shift.  For me and most people, saying inner struggles out loud, usually shifts the energy in a useful way.  It goes from having a hold of me to, in the end, to feeling freed. I have spent the last few days, trying to give myself permission to feel alone, even though I know I am not alone.  I am loved my higher power, I love myself, and I am loved by my “loved” ones.

During these times, I used to go off the grid and hibernate.  But I realized that that behavior usually makes things worse.  The feeling of loneliness feeds on itself and I become depressed.  So what I did this weekend, to look out for me, is stick to my routine.  I also made plans even though I wanted to hop off the grid.  I played with my dogs as usual.  I wrote this blog.  I am telling the world I am lonely.  Is anyone listening out there?  I also am saying to myself, a few sayings.  “Love the life you live,” “This shall pass,” and the serenity prayer.   Also, the one I love to tell my clients is, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!” I am lonely, AND I have a good life.

I can’t say enough that balancing allowing feeling the emotion and pushing through is the best balance for me and may help you.