This last week was a rough one for me. I am right in the middle of summer, and life is pretty good. Yet I have been feeling off. The saying HALT has continued to surface for me, as I reflect on my current mood. Am I hungry? Nope. Am I angry? Not really. Maybe a little frustrated. Am I lonely? Bingo! Am I struggling with going in and out of loneliness? Yes!!!!!
Even though I know all of us go in and out of feeling lonely, I wish I was the exception to this. I love my family and my friends. I was feeling lonely even while I attended a goodbye party for a friend Friday, and also when I went to a matinee yesterday with another friend. I follow the advice I share with others. That is loneliness is being human. I have these fantasies that if I were married and had children, I would not be lonely. But I know that that though is bull. As I work with mothers, fathers, grandmothers and spouses, many say “I am surrounded by people, but I feel so alone.”
Loneliness is inevitable from time to time. Feeling lonely is one of the most challenging feelings that I experience. As I write this blog, I am hoping to have this feeling shift. For me and most people, saying inner struggles out loud, usually shifts the energy in a useful way. It goes from having a hold of me to, in the end, to feeling freed. I have spent the last few days, trying to give myself permission to feel alone, even though I know I am not alone. I am loved my higher power, I love myself, and I am loved by my “loved” ones.
During these times, I used to go off the grid and hibernate. But I realized that that behavior usually makes things worse. The feeling of loneliness feeds on itself and I become depressed. So what I did this weekend, to look out for me, is stick to my routine. I also made plans even though I wanted to hop off the grid. I played with my dogs as usual. I wrote this blog. I am telling the world I am lonely. Is anyone listening out there? I also am saying to myself, a few sayings. “Love the life you live,” “This shall pass,” and the serenity prayer. Also, the one I love to tell my clients is, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!” I am lonely, AND I have a good life.
I can’t say enough that balancing allowing feeling the emotion and pushing through is the best balance for me and may help you.
