Dating can be hard.  I have been going out of dates for over 20 years. There are times that I put myself on a shelf and take a break from dating.  There are other times where I am going out on many dates.  I am back in the dating world and for those of you thinking about staying on the shelf, I want to offer you some thoughts.

As we get older most of us get wiser.  We are spending time getting to know who we really are; we start to focus on things that are most important to us.  We have found out that we can be happy on our own and we don’t need a partner to feel fulfilled.  And yet there are times that we have fun dates and have fond memories of past relationships.  Dating today is not simple, but depending upon how we approach it; dating can be fun and worthwhile.  Below are some tips for you to make dating easier and finding the search for love less daunting.

1.  Make a list of the pros and cons of getting back out there in the dating world. If even one pro out ways the number of cons I suggest you get back out there.
2. Think about it as practice in that you don’t have to be perfect. You are just practicing.
3.  Don’t worry about the outcome.  Don’t worry about whether this date will be the next big love.  Just have fun! Think of it is meeting new people and a potential new good friend. Approach it as if maybe this person would not be a good fit for you, but they might be a good fit for your friend.
4.  Think about it. The other person that will be sitting at the other end of the table from you is on this date too. He or she may be freshly off the shelf.  He or she may be wondering why they are out on the date.  How you are on the date could show them that the date to be nice, relaxing and worthwhile.
5.  Think about the last time you got good at something. Think about your favorite hobbies or athletic activities. How long did it take for you to become confident in that hobby or activity? Did you ever say I’m not going to practice this?  Get good at dating!

6.  Get a dating buddy so that you can talk about dating and what you like about each date.  You can help keep each other on your journeys, help keep your focus, and cheer each other on to keep going.

I know that breakups are hard, losing a love is hard, and the idea of a new love is both exciting and intimidating but let’s get out there and give it a shot. Because there is someone fabulous out there for all of us!