I recently dated a man that could not have been any further from my type. And to be honest, I found it to be somewhat nerve racking and uncomfortable. But the more I approached this dating relationship with curiosity and open-mindedness, the more I appreciated, enjoyed and was attracted to this person and the more I saw that I was getting something new, different and lovely.
First, I must give a brief snap shot of my former and usual type. My type of men has gravitated towards, highly successful, highly extroverted and usually athletic. The positives of this type – they are energetic, fun, on the go, and always the person that is working the room. They also look great on paper. But the flip side is that they tend to be self-focused, work too much, unavailable and like to talk but are not too interested in listening. Well, I am a good listener, so this was kind of working. It was a breath of fresh air when I met this cute, reserved, genuine introvert. I must say he was still athletic, but the rest was different and refreshing. I am currently reading an excellent book called, “The Introvert Advantage, How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, by Marti Olsen Laney. In this book it closely describes him.
- Prefers to relax alone or with a few friends
- Considers only deep relationships as friends
- Appears calm and contained and likes to observe
- Thinks before he speaks or acts
- Does not like feeling rushed
- Creative and imaginative
- Can become grouchy if around too many people or activities too long
Why I loved dating this man. I knew where I stood and how he felt. I really enjoyed that when he spoke he had very cool, smart and interesting things to say. I liked learning to be quiet and just be with someone. I especially enjoyed when he shared his creative side with me. When he was crabby he did not try to hide it but he would let me know what was bothering him. He even asked me to be quiet for about 5 minutes once! At first I was taken back but then I liked knowing how he felt, what be needed, and that he was not just trying to be a charmer or charm me. Probably the most noticeable difference is that he always asked about me, how I was doing, and he listened. And that he read people very well. He knew the good guys from the bad guys.
So, I am inviting you to continue on your journey of dating but add a twist. Date outside of your type. Just do it as an experiment. Anything new can feel a bit scary, but I was worth it to me 100% to take the risk!
***You are asking, “Meg’n, why aren’t you still with him then?” Well, he got a great job out of state. I love Colorado and I am not leaving! We still keep in touch, and I will let him know I wrote a blog about him and I bet he’ll read it!